We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
