OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
