I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
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