My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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