We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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