You can't motorboat a personality
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I intend to get homeless drunk
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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