My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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