White coat. Heels.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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