It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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