my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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