Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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