He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
