how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
