and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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