I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
