there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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