waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I AM VODKA MAN
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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