i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
