i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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