She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
