I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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