my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
