My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
