It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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