So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
