I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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