I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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