so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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