After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
