she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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