why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
