Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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