Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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