sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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