I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
we're making bets on your personal life
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize
