wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
