it wasn't lemon gatorade
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
