I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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