garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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