so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
