I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
