This girl is more easily done than said...
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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