it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize
