3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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