very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
