$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
