you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
