Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
