Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
