it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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